Couples Therapy
You’re a good fit if you…
feel stuck repeating patterns in their relationship and are craving change
struggle to communicate
feel you’re unable to “get through” to your partner
feel “unseen” by your partner
criticism, defensiveness, or loneliness have taken over your relationship
are processing childhood and/or generational trauma and its impact on your relationship
are having the same fight over and over
notice self-sabotaging behaviors in the relationship
are craving deeper intimacy and connection
want to rebuild or strengthen trust within the relationship
navigating mental health disorders such as anxiety, depression, trauma, or ADHD impacting your relationship
are experiencing gender roles conflicts
Couples of all different backgrounds, identities, and relationship structures are welcomed and embraced at between sessions therapy
My approach
Relational work is so important because at our core we come into this world looking to connect and be seen. Our relationships shape us, enrich us, and give us deeper meaning. At times our experiences can create ways of coping that later can become barriers to the connections and life we crave. We may learn ways of interacting that keep us feeling separate and stuck. My goal is to help clients get in touch with those wounds that can feel too painful and overwhelming to hold, to help them heal, and to build on and create ways of relating to their own inner world and the world around them that stems from empowerment, authenticity, and deep alignment.
In my couples work, I use an integrated approach of:
Emotionally-focused couples therapy (EFCT)
Family systems
Parts work
Relational life therapy (RLT)
Somatic work
I ground my work in the belief that at our core we are doing the best we can with the experiences we’ve had and our ways of coping and connecting are driven out of self-protection and survival. I ground my work in the belief that we are made for connection, growth, and change.
My training as a Marriage and Family Therapist focuses on working with systems at a process-level. In my work with couples, this translates into exploring and connecting themes in how you and your partner(s) communicate and interact. Oftentimes, what may present as a problem with parenting, dividing responsibilities, time spent together, etc. is likely tied to a greater need or concern within the relationship. Am I able to get through to my partner? Does my partner consider me? If I make a mistake will they accept me? Can I trust my partner? Am I important to them? Are they emotionally safe? These questions lie at the very core of us all; they point to our vulnerability and need to feel safe, secure, seen, and connected with another being. These questions are often the undercurrent driving interactions with our partner(s). These questions highlight our attachment patterns which are shaped by our past experiences and relationship to our own inner-world. Maybe what has previously worked to connect to your person is no longer working. Maybe you are simply tired of spinning into an anxious spiral, getting defensive, abandoning your needs, or shutting down on your partner when there’s any threat of conflict, distance, or closeness.
I work with couples on a process-level to understand how their attachment needs and tendencies to get those needs met are keeping the couple in a cycle. I am warm but direct. When I’m seeing patterns that are getting in the way of the connection you crave, I gently will name and explore the wound and/or need that drives that pattern/behavior. We explore together the role you each take within your cycle from an attachment perspective and from a structural perspective. We consider how power and self-protection shapes the structure of your relationship. After working with me, the goal is for you to feel more clarity around your inner and couple experience, confidence in your ability to soften, confidence to connect with your attachment needs, and feel you have more options on how you move through conflict, interact, and create vulnerability and closeness with your loved one(s).